Ok, so, I am almost giving up the hectic mess in which work has turned to... I need to take a serious time resting a little bit.
I'm so tired and people are so demanding of me and of my creativity that its hard to even take some time with pleasant things. For instance, in the little time that I have to sleep, I don't have the motivation to study the neat things that I always wanted to.
I guess that this means that I'm overworked, without any shadow of doubt. Being sleepy while at work has never been a common thing for me, even when I was in the tiring days of my M.Sc. studies.
In fact, in those days, I thought that I was progressing (and it's hard not to feel you're progressing when you're being pushed to your limits), but now, with little time for intellectual challenges, I see little point in keeping up with the work I'm doing.
It's not particularly exciting to be teaching how to write a for for the 20th time in less than two years. I guess that if the concept of iteration doesn't enter one's brain as soon as it is told, then all is hopeless.
I guess that I need a significant other to make everything bright (even those less-than-perfect moments). Someone that truly understands what I mean, what my ideals are, what my values are and how I see the world.
And, yes, I am willing to even change some things of me. But please don't disillusion me. In some sense, I'm fragile. Even more than most people think that I am. Despite the tough cover that I may have, lies a friendly person. Truly.